Friday, October 22, 2004

Half a term of pop

Hello, readers. It's been ages since I last posted, because I'm rubbish, but I feel I have to this week because, well, because I said Hannah could kill me if I didn't. I've tried very hard to write a Single of the Week post but I can't. None of this week's releases are brilliant, and there aren't even any that are so bad I want to rant about them. They're all just very mediocre.

Speaking of 'mediocre' - let's get on with my post. The half-term holiday has arrived, so I thought we'd take a look at some popsters' half-term report cards from the School of Pop...

[ Hint: Hannah and Jamie, I know some poppy-pop events pass you by, so you might want to move your mouse over the Yeah, like thats if you don't understand something. It's sort of Lame Pop References for Dummies ;) ]

Reproduced by kind permission of Mrs Bridget Chorus-Verse, Headmistress:

NATASHA BEDINGFIELD

Natasha has made considerable improvement this half-term. She has shown herself to be a very keen Literature student this half term, informing me that in her spare time she 'read some Byron, Shelley and Keats', which is highly commendable.
I do believe, though, that Natasha may be putting too much pressure on herself. 'Trying to write a classic' is a little overambitious for a first year student. However, Natasha must not be discouraged by a waste-bin full of paper. THIS IS ALL TO DO WITH -THESE WORDS-. OK, so it was released before this term. Leave me alone.

BRITNEY SPEARS

I had planned to congratulate Britney on her broad vocabulary and good spelling capabilities, 'prerogative' being a word many students stumble over. However, I have recently discovered that Britney has been copying her work this half-term from little Bobby Brown.THIS IS ALL TO DO WITH BRITNEY'S COVER OF BOBBY BROWN'S -MY PREROGATIVE-
Furthermore, recently, Britney's attitude to work has been dreadful. Why, only last week she refused to complete any new work. This is clearly unacceptable behaviour and I feel that if she spent less time chasing after the boys (she and that Federline lad are always canoodling at the back of the classroom), her work - and reputation in the School - would improve.CLICK HERE

BRIAN MCFADDEN

Brian used to be such a well-behaved boy. He would sit on his stool with his polite, if rather simpering, chums, Nicky, Shane, Mark and Kian. Sadly, I have observed a change in him; he has abandoned his angelic friends He left Westlife and been rather mean to little Kerry in Class 4. Although I gave his most recent piece of work a 'Satisfactory' (indeed, he was top of the class that week), I felt it was somewhat sloppy.His rubbish solo debut -Real to Me- went to Number One
Another cause for concern is that lately Brian (Bryan?) has appeared unsure of the correct way to write his name.CLICK HERE. Paragraph 3 Obviously, this sort of problem should not be arising at this late stage in his schooldays.

BIG BROVAZ - J-Rock, Randy, Nadia, Cherise and Dion

Since Flawless was expelled for smoking behind the bike-sheds, his comrades' performance at School has been disappointing. Their marks have reached an all-time low and so I will not be inviting them to return to the School of Pop after the half-term break.CLICK HERE

RACHEL STEVENS

Her classmate Britney Spears seems to have had a bad influence on Rachel as she too has been caught copying. Rachel should realise that I am not stupid, and she cannot fool me with copied work. I always whack a few lines into Google to check for plagiarism.
Must try harder.Reference to -More More More- cover