Friday, December 17, 2004

An open letter to the music magazines...

(As our dear friend Svetlana is off to Ghana (no, the cheesy rhyme was NOT intended) here is her contribution to WL this week:)

Dear Editors:

Now I like learning about new music as much as the next person, but one thing which I simply cannot abide are the Weekly/Monthly magazines which any pseudo-tortured-antiskid grabs on the day of publishing with their spindly indie fingers, flicking to the News section to see which art-thrash-electro-garage wankers are NME's 'Band du Jour'.
So they go out and profess to all their friends with their TIGI haircuts that "the electrokillerstrokes" are the new black, because NME said so... Then they trot off to sip their skinny Mochas while they muse over whether or not they should buy the NME annual for the interview with Pete Libershambles' rehab nurse.

Now don't forget NME readers, that Heroin addiction is cool. Now, go on, shoot up.

Don't get me started on Q. Or Oasis magazine as I like to call it. Tell me, can they go one issue where their noses remain firmly on their faces, rather than up Liam and Noel's arses? Should you be reading this, Mr. Q Editor, I will give you all of my worldly possessions if you can go one issue without the mention of the Neanderthal brothers. £3.30 on old news, adverts and the occasional free CD.

Kerrang. Had I the choice twixt a nettle leaf and a page of Kerrang, I'd choose the former. Safe to say, that I wouldn't line the cat litter tray with that garbage.

Now there used to be a day, when I enjoyed reading music magazines. The journos had things to say, they loved what they were doing and their passion for music could almost be tasted in the way they wrote. Now? Free posters with every issue! More gossip! Readers' letters!

If I wanted posters, I'd read Smash Hits.

Good music journalism died with Peel. (With the exception of Mojo and the Guardian's Friday Review).

Lovingly yours,

ADDENDUM: I have a good lawyer, so anyone wanting to sue, BRING IT ON.