Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Single to avoid (31/10/05)

Fightstar - 'Grand Unification (Part 1)'
All hail the return of the nation's favourite rockin' young Conservative! No, not David Cameron; rather Thatcher's other foundling - the delectable Charlie Simpson (that's Charles to his mum). Since casting adrift from the tuneless, trashy Busted, Charles has taken a dramatic turn into the realms of the cutting edge. Unfortunately our hero's quest for vitality has seen him lost without trace within the bowels of tuneless trashdom. Oops a daisy. The pompous, pretentiously-titled 'Grand Unification (Part 1)' is a dire Linkin Park knock-off, posing wildly underneath its fauxmantic GCSE lyrics. Kerrang magazine will probably love it - for anyone with any sense, listening to it will be as uncomfortable as passing a kidney stone. For God's sake, vote Labour.
1/5

Goldfrapp - 'Number One'
I'm getting a tad fed up with Goldfrapp. I think the sole function of their mundane, repetitive electro-pop is a kind of Chinese water torture that will eventually make my brain congeal into some kind of mashed potato-like substance. I'm also disturbed by the gyratings of the strikingly haggard Alison Goldfrapp, and intolerant of bedwetting indie types that see her as some kind of monumentally sexual being. Bring on the mashed potato!
1.5/5