Monday, March 13, 2006

Lewis's single to avoid (13/03/06)

Staind - 'Right Here'
If ever you find yourself tempted to listen to Staind, please take heed of the following unsavoury omens:

1. According to Wikipedia, the cover art for their first album Tormented 'depicted a stabbed Bible, a crucified barbie doll, and the words "there's nothing left for me" scrawled in blood across the wall'.

2. They were discovered by Fred Durst.

3. They once released an album entitled 14 Shades of Grey. Sounds fascinating, doesn't it?

4. They come up with lyrics that trill: 'Take your wordly advice / and shove it straight up your ass / Thanks for coming around / to fuck up my day'. Imagine the parents. "He's been suffering from behavioural difficulties, and we really believe that he could benefit from some counselling..."

It's not looking good. Staind are the very nadir of emo metal, and that's saying something. This release will please anyone who's salivating in anticipation of the next Nickelback single. Actually, it might not even please them. It's immeasurably dull, the lyrics are an atrocity in themselves, and you get the feeling that they've done it a thousand times before. Steer clear.