Monday, April 03, 2006

Lewis's Single to Avoid (03/04/06)

The Charlatans - 'Blackened Blue Eyes'
Franz Ferdinand, you are spared! They were poised for a ritual disembowelling this week (the pen is mightier than the sword, after all), but the return of the most aptly-named band in the world just clinches it, I'm afraid. The Charlatans have been knocking around for years now, and they're still releasing records that assume that 'Madchester' is as big as ever. Allow me to shatter their illusions. 'Madchester' was the most asinine scene in the history of pop music, and attempts to prolong it should be seen as a violation of basic human rights. Might I suggest Article 31: 'No-one should be subjected to a tuneless, hissing song with a strutting, chauvinistic rhythm that features the vocals of a shaggy-haired prole with simian features'. Not only would it rid the world of crap like this, but it would also outlaw the likes of Kasabian, the Happy Mondays and Ian Brown. And it would put paid to those awful rumours of a Stone Roses reunion. We'd be living in a modern utopia.